Desire
by Electrical Angel
Summary: "What do you want, Yuuki?" Even in the darkness, the red moon sees everything...a night for letting go and giving in. Yuuki/Kaname, rated M. Takes place somewhere in chapter 30 of the manga.


**Desire**

A Vampire Knight Original Fanfic

_Summary: Because Kaname won't hurt her – because there is more of love and trust and hope than there is of fear in his warm embrace. Yuuki isn't sure of anything anymore, there is something deliciously familiar about his arms around her, something she isn't sure how she ever lived without._

_Of trembling hearts and shaking hands – of promises kept, and lost dreams. And although nothing is certain, the night makes everything brighter – even if, here in the darkness, it's hard to see._

Disclaimer/Author's Note: Hi there, this is Electrical Angel. This is my first Vampire Knight fic, which spawned from an idea I had while reading chapter 30 of the manga. This is my take on what could have happened in that chapter between Yuuki and Kaname. For the lawyers, characters aren't mine.

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><p>"What are you afraid of, Yuuki?"<p>

In the darkness, I see his face – perfect, flawless, skin shining like ivory against the long, thick waves of his hair, his jawline strong, angled, curving in a way far beyond anything found on a human. He's flawless, perfect – the way I wish I could be, the way only he can.

I know what he is. _Vampire. _The word no longer sends a shiver through me the way it used to, although I would be lying if I were to say that it doesn't make me insatiably curious, that it doesn't strike something deep within me, something that I desperately wish I could forget.

I can feel his arms around me now. Hard and strong, yet warm and comforting at the same time. My eyes open wide, all the breath in my lungs leaving me in one swift exhale as my staff clatters to the floor behind him.

What's happening to me?

It's always like this. And I know that by now I should be used to it, but I'm not – this is somehow different from that day in the snow, and all the days after that – I am not a child anymore, and looking at him now, I can see that he's a man. This is not how things used to be. This is different.

"Calm down, Yuuki," he tells me, his deep voice melting me inside.

But I can't.

I don't know how long it's been since I stumbled down this rabbit hole of sorts – ten years is what I tell myself, if only to ease the pain, or lack thereof. But somehow, it feels as though it's been coming for much longer than that.

How long have I felt this way?

I've always known that I've been in love with Kaname Kuran.

And it was strange at first, to realize that I didn't find the shy smiles of the boys in my classes cute or charming – it was confusing to look forward every day to seeing his face on the rare occasions that he would appear, and only being content when I was finally in his arms. Even at six years old, even before that, I always knew.

So why am I like this now?

My hands are shaking, and I don't know what to do with them, so I do the only thing I can – I bring them around to cling to his shoulders, as if he's the only thing holding me to the world around us. My movements are small, hesitant – as though asking for permission, as though I have no right to be this way with him.

This – this is not my place. I am Yuuki Cross, daughter of the chairman, she who was rescued from a sadistic vampire in the snow when I was five years old. I am different than most; I have seen more than most. But I am still a human – so weak and fragile, so different from the likes of him.

"Kaname-senpai…" I trail off, the words catching in my throat. In that moment, I try to pull away, but his arms only tighten around me, draining me from any power or desire to escape.

I wish I could be comforted by this – by him, by his arms around me, by everything. But every time I see him, it makes my head spin, makes my heart hurt – make me feel so young, and helpless, and reminds me of everything I'm too afraid to take.

"Why is it," he says, his voice barely more than a whisper, "that no matter how many times I try to get close to you, you always end up pushing me away again?"

There's a lump in my throat when I finally stammer, "I…don't know."

But I'm lying, and we both know it.

It's for a number of reasons – those which I have already mentioned play a large part in things, and of course, I have always been afraid of my own thoughts. Even now, I see Zero's face in my mind – and why? There are many reasons, but in the end, there is only one.

I am Yuuki Cross, and I am afraid to fall.

His head shifts above me, and I can feel his lips graze my ear. I shiver slightly as the tip of his fang nips at my neck, and my fingers cling tightly to him, knowing that the strength in my legs will all but betray me, should I choose to let go.

"What do you want, Yuuki?" he asks, voice low.

I close my eyes tightly and will myself to keep standing, to not run and hide, to not shrink away. This is wrong, this is forbidden on so many levels, this is everything I never wanted myself to need so badly. I can't be like this with him, he has to know that – so why is this even happening?

But I can feel myself slipping, and so can he.

_Can I be with you like this? Can you stand here, and hold me? Can I allow myself to feel happy, feel safe in your arms, for once and once only? Is it alright to love you? To want you? Can I offer my heart to you, or at least, what little I have left?_

These questions and more swim through my mind, and when I pull away to look at him with shining eyes, his expression is unreadable.

And it happens so slowly that I don't even realize it – but then again, when I'm with him, things have a way of moving in slow motion. The world moves under my feet, but for some reason, I can't feel it, and the universe seems to explode in light the moment his lips touch my own.

_What, if anything, is love? _

Slowly, instinctively, my eyelids flutter shut, and my hands travel up to run through his hair. I feel myself being lifted off the ground and gathered into his arms, and I wrap my legs around his waist to steady myself as the two of us stumble into an abandoned classroom.

With my back to the cold surface of the door and my arms wrapped around neck, I melt into him, and gasp when I feel his fangs grazing my bottom lip, my eyes springing open.

"Tell me what you want," he says, breathing heavily, and when I look into his eyes, I see nothing but a deep, blood-red.

And even now, in the darkness, our heartstrings intertwined so completely that it's impossible to ever escape from this endless night – even now, it's almost unbearable how much I love him. How much I always have.

"I…Kaname-senpai," I stammer, my face flushed, heart beating so loudly I'm sure even he can hear it.

"Say it," he whispers, and I feel a fire ignite deep in the pit of my stomach when he looks at me, grinning devilishly, as if daring me to tell him everything, everything that he already knows.

I say nothing, and instead simply pull him back to me, my mouth melding into his and our two hearts beating in perfect synchronization, because this is whole and perfect and right, this is the moon and the stars and the galaxy, this is more than I ever imagined.

Nothing is said as I feel him leaning back into me, kissing me with everything, his fingers knotting in my hair and making me his. And nothing is said when we're pressed against one another, skin on skin, and there are no more barriers between us – when I'm pressed against the wall, and our clothes are laying discarded on the floor.

I arch my head back and clench my jaw as he trails kisses down my kneck and to my chest – one hand gently cupping the swell of my right breast as his mouth descends on the other, swirling his tongue around my already-hard nipple and making me moan. His brown curls spill over my chest as he presses me against the door frame. Why am I getting lightheaded?

"K-Kaname," I gasp, the _-senpai _all but forgotten, as I feel his hardness pressing against my leg, which my fingers ghost over lightly, hand trembling tentatively. In the next second, my breath is stolen away with the most heart-shattering kiss of them all, and I shiver inside.

"Just tell me if you want me to stop," he whispers.

I say nothing, but simply take his face in my hands and kiss him back with all the strength I can muster, hoping that he understands my meaning, that we've gone too far to stop now – that after everything, nothing can stop us now. Wordlessly, easily, he slips the first finger into me, and I bite back a moan, burying my face in his shoulder in a silent scream. The second and third fingers follow it easily, each more terrible and wonderful than the last.

"Kana..." I stammer, my heart beating in time with his thrusts as I grip his shoulders tightly, "...me-senpai..."

"Tell me what you want," he growls, and this time, there is something deeply feral in his eyes as I'm pushed harder into the door frame, and I groan as I feel his fingers tightening in my inner walls. I close my eyes, expecting something else – not knowng what to expect – but then he pull out abruptly, leaving me whimpering, clinging to his shoulders for fear of crashing to the ground.

"Tell me," he says again, and that's really all it takes.

"Make me yours," I reply breathlessly, my voice barely a whisper. "Now and forever, Kaname-senpai...just make me yours."

I'm pushed back roughly, abruptly, and a sharp, burning pain courses through me as he slowly pushes himself in – breaking every barrier inside me, every last defense I had. Tears sting in my eyes, and I cling to him as he whispers nothings to me, chanting my name like a mantra, like a prayer. And when my hips twitch instinctively, he begins to move inside me – first rocking back and forth, then moving in and out, until we've built up a sort of rhythm, he and I.

My hands fist themselves in his hair as my back arches against him, meeting his thrusts halfway, our breathing shallow and ragged. There's heat between us, an unbelievable fire – and despite all of the friction, all of the closeness, my world is spinning away from me at warp speed.

_And nothing about this is safe, nothing about this is even the slightest bit right, the slightest bit sane – but maybe that's for the best, because with Kaname, thoughts are best left forgotten. _

And as the red moon rises over the top of the trees, I become more of him, until it's impossible to see where each of us begins, and we're one. And I wonder if this must be what desire is – a desire so strong I can't get rid of it, can't will it away – a desire so strong it haunts even my dreams, my every thought.

This desire, this terrible, terrible desire –

We fall together seamlessly, as if we're meant to – and in my heart, I am sure that we are.

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><p>Thanks for reading, and be sure to drop me a review!<p>

-Electrical Angel


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